Cancer’s Gentle Heart: My Reflection Holds Your Gaze

There’s a song that still resonates deeply, even years after its release—Chang Xuan’s “Appearance” from 2007. Some melodies linger in your heart long after the music stops, and this is one of them. It’s a testament to a beautiful composition when, more than a decade later, you can still hum its tune and feel its emotional weight.

The Many Meanings of “Appearance”

The word “appearance” carries three nuanced meanings:

• It can refer to one’s physical looks or style of dress.
• It can describe an approximate situation, often relating to time, age, or circumstances.
• It may also signify a particular state or condition.

In this song, the second meaning feels most poignant. It’s about expressing longing and love—specifically, unspoken affection—through subtle hints and markers. The lyrics weave a delicate narrative of someone hoping to be seen, heard, and understood.

“Do you hear me? Do you hear me? Do you understand? Do you understand?” These lines, repetitive yet distinct, capture a rollercoaster of emotions—questioning, pleading, and reflecting. It’s a journey from the eyes to the heart, wrapped in clumsy, earnest words.

Then it shifts: “Do you see me? Do you see me? Are you afraid? Are you afraid?” Here, the focus moves from hearing to seeing, from sound to sight. The back-and-forth feels like a soliloquy, a self-addressed conversation brimming with vulnerability.

Listening to this song on repeat, one can’t help but appreciate the tender, flowing (róu qíng) that Taiwanese female vocalists often embody. It’s no wonder some say that Cancer is the most nurturing and gentle sign of the zodiac. Their emotional depth and intuitive nature allow them to express and perceive love in its purest, most fluid form. So, to all the Cancers out there: does this resonate with you?

Loneliness and Letting Things Be

“My appearance holds your loneliness; my gaze holds your direction.” These lines paint a familiar picture—the kind where someone’s eyes follow another’s every move. In life, two types of people often do this: the eccentric middle-aged supervisor and the young woman deeply in love. I think we all know which one we’d prefer.

“Letting things be” might be one of life’s more helpless conjectures. Even when you know you want to walk a certain path with someone, you can’t control its length. It’s like driving 200 kilometers to reach the foot of a mountain, then walking a few hundred meters through an old town under the blazing sun. Every extra step is another journey—another mountain crossed, another river passed. And all the while, your reflection lingers in the rearview mirror.

Those who have lived through decades, or just a few months; those who have traveled miles or merely taken a few steps—will they remember your appearance next year?

A Glimpse into History

Surprisingly, the concept of “appearance” traces back to classical Chinese poetry. Xin Qiji’s “Que Qiao Xian: A Playful Composition for an Eighty-Year-Old’s Birthday” from the Song Dynasty uses the term in a celebratory context. In that era, it was customary to write the character for “eighty” in vermillion and place it on a child’s forehead—a symbolic gesture wishing for longevity.

Much like the Song poets, who wrote two characters but hoped for enduring life, this song writes of “appearance” but yearns for togetherness. It’s a gentle reminder that some desires transcend time.

May your ever-shifting gaze always reflect my appearance.